Print this PostI’ve lived in Spain for about two years now, yet I’m still very much a guiri in certain aspects. For those of you who don’t know what a guiri is, it’s basically Spain’s term for a laughable, pasty-white, foreign tourist who is here on vacation but doesn’t really “fit in.” Yes indeed, the beaches of Spain fill up with guiris in the summer months and in the winter a few of us — me, for example – stick around.
Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself pretty well-integrated into Spanish society; however, I’ll always have certain “guiri characteristics” when it comes to a few things. Here are the top five reasons why I still consider myself to be a guiri:
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I eat fast food: In Spain, the land of the Mediterranean diet, I eat fast food — and I eat it quite regularly. In fact, when I confess to Spaniards that I make at least one trip to McDonald’s a week, they simply cannot believe me. Eating fast food just isn’t as common here as it is in the States. I guess if you eat a lot of fast food you’re still a guiri in some respect (you’re also probably at a higher risk for heart disease, but let’s save that for a different post).
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I have a different concept of time: Most Spaniards have a different concept of time than I do (I’m not saying that that’s necessarily a bad thing, but it is something I notice). For example, if I tell a group of Spanish friends that I will meet them at 10:00 PM in the city center, I arrive to the city center a little early — perhaps at 9:53 or so. Spaniards, on the other hand, begin to arrive around 10:00 and it’s not really unusual for them to arrive even a tad later than 10:00. So, while the Spaniards are living it up with their laid-back lifestyle and arriving at their earliest convenience, I (the guiri) am nervously looking at my watch and wondering where everybody is at.
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I eat lunch at 12:30 or 1:00: In Spain, a late lunch is king. The normal lunch hour is from 2:00 to 5:00 PM and people typically eat at any time during that three-hour span. I, as a guiri, do not like waiting that long. In fact, when I lived in the USA I often ate lunch around 11:30 AM; so, waiting until 2:00 is something that I try to avoid (if I can). My Spanish housemates laugh when I eat so early and tell me that I have some very “strange customs.” Still, I persist with my “guiri ways.”
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The kissing thing confuses me: It is very common here in Spain to give kisses on the cheek when you are meeting someone for the first time or to greet someone that you haven’t seen in a while. This is something that is never done in the USA and, as a result, it’s something that has always confused me. I never know who I should give two cheek kisses to and who I shouldn’t. Sometimes the person who I’m meeting expects two kisses and other times they don’t… the whole cheek kissing thing is really a bit of a mystery for a poor guiri like me, even to this day.
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You tell me: If you’re an expat living in Spain, help me finish this post by writing how you are still a guiri in the comments section below. If you’re a Spaniard, perhaps you’d like to comment on some of the strange things that guiris do in your country.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the list. I’m looking forward to your comments!
Hasta luego,
–Chris
http://abroadinspain.com
Hi Chris. I’m not a “guiri” but I can help you with “the kissing thing”.
Since you’re a man, you only have to think about this issue when meeting women. Men only kiss on the cheek other men in the family way older or younger than them (when they’re about the same age it’s a bit weird but not utterly extrange), like grandfathers, fathers, uncles, etc and it’s been a long time since last time they saw each other.
About women, you give two kisses to your family members when it’s been a long time since you last saw them aswell, in this case, women of your same age too. When someone introduces you to a woman in a friendly casual context you normally give two kisses on the cheeks if you don’t want be seen as a cold person. Once you know her it’s up to you to kiss or not when you meet again, but it’s the most normal way, specially, when you haven’t met in a time. You don’t kiss somebody who you see quite regularly. Of course, you don’t go with the two kisses in any working environment (well, maybe in the porno industry they do. I don’t know).
So, sumarizing, basically you don´t give two kisses to:
1.- male friends
2.- female friends you see regularly (unless is your girlfriend of course)
3.- your work partners, bosses, clients… anyone related to work, except you eventually become friend with some of them, then outside the job you can because out of the job they’re not coworkers but just friends. go to points 1 and 2.
4.- family male members about your age.
You do give two kisses to:
1.- Just introduced female friends
2.- female friends you don’t see very often
3.- family members you haven’t seen in a long time, except men about your age
4.- When you’re flirting with someone
OK. I’m starting to realize that it’s well more difficult than I thought. When you’ve lived all your life here it’s so natural that you just know when and when not to kiss on the cheeks but it can certainly be a mistery for a foreigner.
I hope I’ve helped you.
Cheers.
@David – Thanks for the explanation, it helps to take some of the mystery out of the whole subject… and I’ve placed the words don’t and do in your comment where you asked me to. Thanks again!
Hi Chris;
I have liked a lot your comments, very funny to see me ,like spaniard, from your point of view.
Hey Chris, Love following your blog. It is so fun to see how other expats live here in Spain…to answer your question….hmmmm, let’s see…
I walk waaaay to fast to be a Spaniard…which also make it hard for me to control my shopping cart. I think they are designed to be pushed much slower than I push them.
I have a Honda Odyssey minivan…so everywhere I go, it pretty likely I’m not from here…
I wear sneakers more often than boots, but I do have the scarf thing down pretty well, I think!
I still try to park within the lines of the parking spaces…which is extra hard with my van….
I open my mouth and speak Spanish…game over…unless i’m in McDonald’s…I got the McSpanglish down pat!
Ashleigh
@Ashleigh – That’s really funny, I actually notice the walking thing too. And, well, the accent is always with us all… so congrats on being as much of a guiri as I am!
How to be an expat “guiri” living in Spain:
1. Carry your coffee in a travel mug as you walk to school or work…just like you would in the States.
2. Stare with an open mouth at couples shamelessly making out in public parks and on sofas in bars.
3. Always offer to split the check with your Spanish friends when you go out to a bar for drinks.
4. Take long showers. Use up all the hot water. Piss off your roommates.
5. Expect the employees of RENFE to be polite and resourceful. Demand to see their supervisors when they
are not.
6. Ask for “vino rojo” instead of “vino tinto.”
7. When someone asks where you’re from say, “Estoy americano.”
8. Always use the gas oven when cooking. Afterall, gas is cheap.
Hope this is helpful!
The years I lived in Spain were some of the best years of my life. In fact, I still keep in touch with some of my friends. Can’t wait to visit!
Totally guilty of the coffee travel mug thing! And totally agree…kissing is one thing…playing tonsil tennis is another!
Couples don’t “tongue kiss” (is it used that way??) in discos or the street in USA?? Really??? It’s SO common here that I had just never thought about it… hahaha Well… I don’t like it when it’s very exagerated and it makes people uncomfortable but in a normal way I find it perfectly normal…
@uvepece
. They do, but not in parks or places like that (normally).
It’s a french kiss
One thing that haunted me for a while is the three kisses-rule in the Netherlands. I’m Dutch, and where I’m from we normally don’t give kisses to friends or family (unless we haven’t seen that person for a long time). However, when we give a kiss on the cheek, we don’t give one, not two, but three.
However, in Spain two kisses is the norm, and three means you’re kinda hitting on someone. Poor me, some of my friends thought I was a player as I gave every girl three kisses. Now I know better, luckily
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The lunch thing was also weird for me, along with dinner (which I, as a true Dutchman, normally eat at 5-6 PM). It took me about two months to adjust, but I just love having a late lunch, then “echar la siesta”, return to work, and have dinner REALLY late.
Great blog by the way!
@Ramses
That 3 kisses thing is normal in other places apart from Netherland such as France and some other… It’s strange how this customs change from a place to another not being far…
Having traveled around quite a bit I can say that you’ll find the kissing greeting to be common in several other areas of the Mediterranean, (Italy for one), so it is not unique to Spain. The same goes for the different conceptions of time, and tendencies toward later dining. I have found that I simply adapt to these differences over time when in a foreign environment. I tend to do this simply for social reasons, though I can certainly see why some people have found the adaptations hard to make.
Dan
Funny post! I’ve also been a bit stumped by the “kiss on the cheek” thing. When I first encountered it I was completely caught off guard: I reached out to shaker the hand of a petite young woman, and realized that she was puckered and heading for my cheek! By reflex I locked her arm, essentially bringing her to a stop in mid-air…and have felt bad about it ever since!
Wow, I got a lot of comments here about the kissing “norms” in Spain. You´re all right, not only is the kiss on two cheeks a bit hard to get used to at first, but it also really surprised me how “open” couples are to “make out” in public here. I still remember the first time I came to Spain and saw couples playing “tonsil tennis” (as @Ashleigh called it)… it left me quite surprised. After living here so long, though, all of this is pretty much normal to me now….
Keep the comments coming, they´re great!
I loved this post. I have been living in UK for 2 years now, and each time I go back to my country, Spain, I feel myself as a “guiri”…
Hiiii! Your post is really good!! I’ve lived all my life in Spain and I don’t know when to kiss somebody. Sometimes it’s very confusing! I understand you!! It’s also up to you…
If you live in an International area like Marbella the kissing is even more confusing. Some of our friends are Dutch and they like 3 kisses, the English like 1 unless they are flying the European flag, then they like 2, and as for the French. I don’t know why they seem to be surprised when I try a French kiss…..
I’ve been living in Seville for five years now, and I too and still very much a guiri. Maybe its my Michigan State University apparel. Or my working hours of 8AM to 5PM. Or my hatred for Spanish television (for the exception of a couple shows). It could also me my constant use of electronic services like credit cards and online transactions, or reading the news via my BlackBerry. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I love my newly adopted country and culture, and I won’t change as long as I’m me.
After living in Spain for a few years,I actually feel left out if I dont get greeted with the kisses because being girl I can exchange kisses with both genders keeping in mind David’s omments above.I recall when I went to Edinburgh I felt strange not being able to do that and caught myself a few time lingering too close to someone after being introduced.When friends and family come to visit I tell them about this form of greeting ad let them decide whether or not they mind so that each time I introduce them to my Spanish friends I drop this info…Personally,I like the kisses!!
How about how not to be guiri?
Top 10 Ways Not to be Guiri
1. Don’t ask why when it’s not like the US.
2. Never complain about the store hours.
3. Always shop at small shops and mercados.
4. Shrug your shoulders and go get a cafe con leche or a beer if things are an immediate disaster.
5. Eat a huge meal at 15:00, take a siesta, wake up, go for a stroll have a merienda and organize your next meal.
6. Don’t drink to get drunk and puke.
7. Understand the Catholic mindset.
8. Leave Madrid in the summer and vacation in the north of Spain. Cantabria, Galicia, Asturias and the Basque Region. Leave the south to the idiots from the UK.
9. Eat pork alot. Eat meat in general alot.
10. Understand the hand gestures.
Hi,
I have been working in Spain around 3 months in Barcelona. It’s just a short time but I got the same experience like your post.
I absolutely agree with that. I also had a problem with food time, meeting time (when we had a meeting in the office) and also Spanish greeting by kissing
Sure! I’m also a guiri.
I have more comment in food time. I used to have a problem when I went out to have a dinner. It’s very hard to find a restaurant if you need to have a dinner before 8:00 p.m.
I used to walked around to find a place to have a dinner from my hotel that quite far from city center and took around 1 hour until I have found myself standing in Las Ramblas that have many restaurant for tourist. Yes. Finally,I could have a dinner there. I have discoverd that if I feel hungry before 8:00 p.m. It’s useless to find a local restaurant. I found somewhere will pleasantly get you in and present a beer during witing for a dinner that’s around 1 hour after. Oh. No. I’m hungry not thirsty. Thanks guy
Hi Chris..Great posts… brings back memories….A long time ago, I lived in Andalucia (in Nerja) for about 6 years and LOVED every minute of it..basically spent my “formative” years there (age 10-16) i think I tend to agree with Mike…(although I take umbrage to his comments about the idiots from the UK as I am originally British (JUST got my US citizenship after living there for 24 years!!) The more you act like a Spaniard the better off you will be. I now live in Mexico in a VERY small town called Alamos in Sonora..and it’s like going back in time 20 years..don’t even have a supermarket in town and definitely no “fast food” think the closest place with a MacDonald’s is about 3 hrs drive away!! They do have somewhat of the same customs as Spain though and life is definitely slower paced !!
Hey Chris, I just found your blog and really enjoy it. I went through a lot the same stuff (especially the daily schedule debacle) when I was studying abroad. I did a couple summers in San Sebastian and one in Malaga during high school, then a year in Madrid in college. Never been to Burgos but I’ll keep reading your blog and maybe get a feel for it.
I actually just wrote a blog post about how Americans really do not understand what “Spanish” means- would love your insights. http://www.aklcreative.com/the-fundamentals-of-communicating-with-spanish-speaking-audiences/
Congrats on the blog nomination!
Dear Chris:
Soy un Spaniard y estoy totalmente de acuerdo en todo lo que dices. Lo de los besos en las mejillas no creas que sólo te confunde a tí pues muchos españoles tampoco tenemos claro cuando dar la mano o cuando los dos besos, pero sí que es cierto que es muy corriente lo de los dos besos en las mejillas sobre todo entre hombre y mujer.
Saludos, y feliz estancia en España.
P.D. Llevo estudiando inglés durante cuatro años y cada vez estoy más enamorado de tu país y de tu gente.
@Everyone – Thanks for your insights into kissing and more! Keep your comments coming, I enjoy reading them!
I am a Spaniard living in the USA and for me is exactly the opposite. I have to learn the person’s nationality before I lean, or not, to kiss them. The meals schedule has me hungry all day long (after 12 years here). I’m always what the Americans consider late (5-10 minutes “not on time”). And I still can’t understand how many fast food restaurants can survive. Another thing that baffles me is the American’s love for artificial indoors temperature: extremely hot in the winter, extremely cold in the summer. Anyway, I guess I’m a “guiri in reverse” …
@Camino – That’s very interesting… I guess you really are a “guiri in reverse”
. And just to let you know, you’re not the first foreigner living in the USA who has made a comment to me about the artificial indoor temperatures: especially the “coldness” of our air conditioning.